Tuesday, August 24, 2010


Something has happened.
There has been some revolution in my consciousness...in my comprehension of life.

I remember this person who thought that joy and fulfillment came from what could be accomplished and achieved in the eyes of others.  So he was obsessively focused on how to get a career/job that would bring him to joy...or how to get more money...or how to find his PURPOSE and MISSION so that he could experience joy, fulfillment, abundance...

Life was spent believing that certain things would bring joy, and if he couldn't get those things to happen, much time was spent in resentment.  "Hey, world...life...GOD...where's my stuff so that I can be happy???!!!" 

It was a life constantly lived in the future of, "I need this to be happy, and when I get it, I will be so fulfilled!"

But something has happened.

I see that life will never be experienced as only one thing.  There will be pain.  There will be joy.  But where is my attention?

I can experience my joy and fulfillment right NOW.  It is my CHOICE.  Everyday is a new opportunity to seek joy...to allow it...to create it...to acknowledge it...

Every moment...

Up until this point in life, I have never had a clear sense of my purpose because I had been taught to believe that my purpose could only be something BIG in the eyes of others.  Simply enjoying my life was never worthy of being a possibility!  Even now I hear the voices of fear rising up, "Hey, but you have to DO something!  You have to do something worthwhile!  You have to use the God-given talent you have!  Hey, don't be lazy!  What's wrong with you???"

And I sit quietly inside my smile...inside my PEACE...inside my newly won understanding -


What is your purpose?

Monday, August 9, 2010

Leo New Moon Tonight

Can you feel that Leo energy?
Leo, the bold expressive child-
Full of drama and play-
The joy of life!
Can you feel yourself as the Divine Child living to be creative and bold?
Shine and radiate your sun-
Warm rays of golden life-giving energy to fill us-
Inspire us!
Do you want an audience?
Why not?
Go ahead-
Perform for us.
Show us your creations.
Pretend you are 5 years old, and it's show-and-tell.
Fall in love.
Have sex in an open field under the stars.
There is creative energy ready to be freed!
It's the middle of summer, and there is no better time to be alive.
Play with your friends-
Go dancing-
Make some new ones.
Finger-paint the walls a funny color-
Clean it up tomorrow.
Now is the time to play, to be creative, to enjoy BEING HERE NOW-
Being ALIVE-
A unique being with a unique expression in the world.
Let the child come out to play.


Recently, I talked to a friend who was in a panic after someone suggested to him that it would be good if he set some goals for himself.  He is a "go-with-the-flow" type of guy, and I think the idea of setting goals feels quite unnatural for him.

I can relate!

I have become quite a "go-with-the-flow" type of guy myself.  I used to set all kinds of goals and accomplish quite a few of them, but over time, I have noticed that I set fewer goals for myself.  I tend to set more immediate goals depending on what I identify as a want or need in the moment.  I have found that what I want and need changes quite often.  I may set a goal today and tomorrow realize a more important desire.

Still, I can see the benefit in taking the time to identify and focus on goals.  Having them and working towards them can certainly give one's life a sense of meaning, direction, and forward momentum.

To take some of the pressure off, I told my friend that if the word "goal" brings up negative associations for him, then he could change the word to one that has less of a charge for him, like "wish" or "intention"-whatever works for him.

Also, I told him to remember that goals can change.  Nothing has to be set in stone.  Our goals can be refined, shifted, and changed as we continue to grow and gather new information about ourselves and the world around us.

The deeper issue for my friend and myself (and perhaps you?) is that we like to be fluid, adaptable, and navigate more in the moment based on self-discovery and self-exploration.  We like to let life unfold and focus quite a bit of our attention on BEING and less on HAVING and DOING.  I think there is a middle ground.  I think we can be fluid and spontaneous while still having goals that we are working towards.  Being fluid/spontaneous and setting goals does not have to be mutually exclusive.

But what if we are unsure of what we want?  The dominant belief system in this culture manipulates us into thinking that we should know who we are, what we want, and what goals to be working toward from a very young age-too young for most of us to have really discovered who we are and what is deeply important to us in life.  I think we are pressured to set goals and accomplish things before we know what we really want out of life.

How do we direct our energy if we don't know what we want?

Joseph Campbell said it best:



The Fifth Tarot

We may not know what we want over the long-term or what we want to honestly work toward for the long-term, but we can always fulfill our need for JOY and BLISS today.

Everyday is a new opportunity to experience this fulfillment.  Every moment...

As we seek to create and experience joy in the smaller context of each day, the joy and clarity in our lives expands, and we become aware of goals that we would like to set for ourselves that may take more planning and time to manifest.  It is a natural progression through ever widening circles of expansion and fulfillment.

What does joy look like to you?
What does it feel like?
What does it sound like?
What does it taste like?  Smell like?

Can we let our goals arise naturally from the continued seeking and finding of what truly brings us joy?  Can we let our larger goals arise naturally from the foundation of all the joy we create from moment-to-moment, day-to-day?

I think it's much simpler than we let it be.

And it can be as easy as child's play...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010


How is your summer going so far?
Where are you, and what are you doing?
Wherever you are, and whatever you are doing, are you at peace with your choices?

More importantly-
Are you grateful for YOU, and your unique journey, and all the life experience that has gone into creating this person that you are right now?

I have spent the past two months participating in the Oberlin Summer Theater Festival.  The experience was challenging and wonderful, and there is much that could be said about it.  But I want to talk about what happened right at the end of my time in Oberlin.

One of my cast-mates shared with me their perspective on me, my life, and the choices I have made.  It was a very brief exchange that affected me profoundly.  In a moment, I had a very deep understanding and appreciation for ME, my unique life journey, and all of the decisions and choices that have lead to who and where I am now.

It is so easy to compare ourselves to others...
So easy to believe others' opinions and ideas about how we are living our lives...
What we are doing and what we should be doing...

I had a moment of seeing how someone else might view my life, and how they might be inspired by what they see.

But can I be inspired by my own life?  Can I feel gratitude for so much freedom to live my life as I choose?  To make this life a unique expression of my own being and becoming?  Can I see the beauty in all of it?

This is the card I just pulled from the Fifth Tarot to help me put words to what I feel about the past two months, as well as the past in general:

The realization is that it is not so much the outer events in life that lead to a life of joy, but an inner stance of gratitude for the entire journey.  And sometimes, maybe we can't bring ourselves to appreciate ALL OF IT, but there are always specific moments and experiences along the way that we can appreciate.

This summer I have been doing allot of thinking about how to re-inspire myself...how to have more of that awe and wonder that I knew as a child...more of that passion and enthusiasm for life that I used to know...

I am going to start by allowing myself to feel this deep gratitude for all of my life experience.

I invite you to do the same.