This has been a strange week. I've felt "off." Low energy. More sleep. Foggy mind. Juicy dreams. A vague haze surrounding my day-to-day.
Has anyone been experiencing the same?
In the past, I used to get angry at myself for feeling "off," or I'd get angry at the world for continuing to expect the same performance from me. I used to beat myself up and use the "off" symptoms as a way to prove that I was damaged goods, broken...that something was wrong with me. And boy-oh-boy did I try to get in there an fix it! This was an on-going cycle of self-denial and self-hate.
This week I could have given myself a little more acceptance, a little more room to snooze a little bit longer before rising to prepare for work. I could have allowed myself more room to be "off," and taken more time for myself to simply slow down and be with myself. Perhaps the slowing down would have lead me to taking a day OFF from work, and who knows where that would have lead...
But I can say that there is more room here, now, for whatever is expressing inside of me than there used to be. This week I was able to acknowledge the ebb in energy and concentration. Even though I chose to go out into the world and work-business as usual-I allowed myself to be low energy and lacking in concentration. I didn't fight it. I gave myself the permission to relax a little bit more in my chair and indulge in longer periods of doing nothing. I let myself have the damn coffee, too!
Still, before leaving work for the day, I heard the quiet voice of Spirit nudging me to take some time for myself...to honor where I am and to nourish myself from within.
So, what did I do when I got home? I lit a candle, rubbed some essential oil ("Purification" from Young Living Essential Oils) onto my body at the chakra points, selected some crystals to place at each chakra, began playing Buddha Nature by Deuter, and gave myself an hour long Reiki self-care session.
Ah...just what the doctor ordered.
During the session, I let my mind and energy wander wherever it needed to go. On my journey there were partly cloudy skies morphing into and out of cotton candy-like shapes. There were vast oceans, and there I was floating peacefully in their calm waters. Vines grew up from the Earth and wrapped around my body, supporting me, anchoring me, and giving me strength. Every now and then, I would see colors and energies coming into and going out of my body and energy field. Every now and then, a deep breath of realignment would well up from nowhere and fall into nothingness...
And somewhere in there, these words bubbled up from the stillness -
"Perfect being...perfect becoming..."
After rising, I selected a tarot card from my Fifth Tarot deck:
A mini-song that I wrote long ago drifted back into my awareness...
"...I am a part of the Universe
The Universe inside of me
Every amazing little thing
Is a part of you, is a part of me
We are a part of each other..."
The Universe card was a perfect mirror for the harmony and balance I was experiencing in that moment.
This perfection of being and becoming that we are can be experienced anytime, whether we are still or in motion. These "off" days can be the perfect opportunity to slow down, realign, and return to the peace and stillness at the center of being.
Peace and blessings from the center...